Mom's Thoughts on Shopping

As men, we experience pregnancy vicariously through our partners, never really knowing how it feels to carry a baby for 40 weeks. Even so, we can be involved and even helpful during this time.

Once your partner announces she’s expecting, you’re immediately thrown into an exciting and mostly unfamiliar world. Of course, we all want to be supportive of our partners, but the reality is that women have the market cornered on this whole pregnancy thing. You can still be an active participant in your partner’s pregnancy. Here are five ideas for getting involved:

1. Just Being There Helps

It’s understandable if you aren’t able to attend all the doctor appointments with your partner. But, you’ll want to be sure to make arrangements to attend an ultrasound. Seeing your unborn child’s heartbeat is a breath-taking experience – and, for many dads, makes everything seem so much more real.

Ultrasounds are usually scheduled sometime between the 16th and 20th week of pregnancy. If your partner is over age 35, she will most likely be advised to have amniocentesis, a test used to detect certain birth defects. Since this test involves a very long needle, and a fair amount of anxiety about the results, this is one of those times you should accompany your partner to the doctor.

Since the results of amniocentesis usually take a week or two, extra TLC for your partner will go a long way.

2. Overcome Your Fears

It’s perfectly common for dads-to-be to experience feelings of insecurity. The fact that you’ll be responsible for a child for at least 18 years is reason enough for you to question your ability to provide for your family. For some families, the baby’s arrival means going from a double income to just one. While you don’t want to upset your partner, it’s a good idea to discuss these feelings with your partner. And seek out other new fathers. You’ll be able to learn first-hand how they handled their insecurities.

3. Here’s to Our Health

Another way you can participate in the pregnancy is to modify your diet to match your partner’s. Show your support by foregoing that glass of wine with dinner. Definitely stop smoking. The lifestyle changes your partner faces are difficult, but she’ll find it easier to cope with your participation and support.

4. Growing Pains

Your partner’s body is going through many changes. Besides being on a hormonal roller coaster, back pain and bloating may be wearing her down. Many women also feel unattractive as their weight continues to climb. Let your partner know that you still find her attractive and that you enjoy watching her body change.

5. Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

By the time your baby arrives, you and your partner should have:

• decided on both girl and boy names
• shopped for baby essentials such as diapers
• installed a car seat
• set-up a nursery
• determined whether to breastfeed or bottle-feed
• decided to circumcise or not
• made plans for your pet’s needs

This list goes on, and so do the many ways dads-to-be can participate in the pregnancy and prepare for the little one.

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